Tomorrow to Archeon in an oldtimer.

Last minute a solution presented itself,
so i don't have to cancel a promise made
to the 2 most important people in the world.
Now all i can hope is that the Dutch
haven't been closing off highways & bridges.
Especially since i'd like to return to Holland
on sunday for some Formula 1 street-racing action.
I need to get my mind off everything...
free it from all the sorrow
so i can focus on work again.

BTW, yes it has been a while.
Has anybody missed me???
Nah...

40 days of Silence.
~ Hardly any uploads.
~ No journal with the usual ranting.
(Nope: on FessesBook it's one-liner-updates & where-am-i's).

Those are good things, right?
It gave me some time to think,
to calm down,
because i was very angry at people.

Been keeping to myself.
~ Both here as elsewhere.
~ Avoiding people & conversations
that might lead to arguments or friction.
~ Ignoring all hailings
from those who only contact me when needing something.
~ Missing everyone but being so darn stubborn
that i can't turn back.

Eventhough i did have time to spare in july
i haven't even done/proposed any cosplayshoots.
Everybody holds a camera these days.
Done nothing outside of the scarse events
except for one shoot
which was asked as payment
by someone who helped me
with my 1st "real" cosplay project.

O-yes,
the secret cosplay project...
All has been said about the Red Minotaur/Takeda Shingen [link] / [link] on Japan Expo [link]
Good & bad.
Happy & angry.
Proud & sad.
Said it,
don't care if the listeners
don't want to understand.

When doing something
so unfamiliar
for the 1st time
a person needs support and company.

Said i would do it?
Check.
Did it?
Check.
Like a manly man?
Check.

I can walk with my head up.

Although...
the weekend afterwards some cosplayers
found it necessary to mock the Minotaur
in a way that i nearly decided
to never do anything alike again...

However,
i just might give in to the idea
2 people put into my head
to cosplay a certain vengeful sailor-demon-nobleman
that i adore.
Alas for his Smurf-color.

Persisting might be a better vengeance...

What else happened cosplay event-wise?
Free Gaming Rotterdam [link] was cold, wet,
but there was a bar with Corona nearby.

Castlefest [link] was simply the best.
It took me from 11h30 till 18 o'clock
to make 1 (one) tour around the domain...
chitchatting about the weirdest things
-from the Sfinx festival, over DNA-research vs CSI, to Evil Dead-trivia sharing-
Darn sweet people that roam those grounds...
and darn good food...
pancakes, cheese fondue, currysoup (Thx!)...
Why only 1 day and not 3?

Right...
because on saturday night
i drove from Lisse (North-west of Holland)
to Bonn (Germany).
Animagic [link] was a bliss to the eye.
Dazzling creations
and überfriendly/kind people.

A few of the DA'ers i wanted to see,
i did run into...
before everything went
numb & hazy...
The turning point was
the message that my grandfather,
the closest i've known to a father,
had been rushed to intensive care.
Sorry, but i haven't done much afterwards
except calm down before driving off.
Everything is a blur.

Awful & stressfull week
as the Facebook-stalkers probably know. (sorry)
And eventhough sorrow is stinging badly,
i still stand by the decision made.
And i know that grandpa would not
have wanted to be kept alive
the way he was...
It was the right decision,
but that doesn't make it easier,
neither the 1st time you have to make it,
nor the 2nd time.

Deciding over the life of a dear one
can break you
as i have seen happen...
up close.

But i stand,
and will go on.
Most of you gave your condolances,
once you heard/read it
and i thank you.
Those who didn't,
don't worry...
you probably don't know me
and i probably don't know you
well enough to know.

Tomorrow to Archeon in an oldtimer
and then one day the tears will come.